Listening to Pass Me the Chips by Zack Parrish today.

Album cover for Pass Me the Chips by Zack Parrish

It is very chipy. But it easy to get lost in, while staring at pixels (even if the pixels aren’t telling a particularly epic story).

Also, football drafts are super weird, they are like Magic: The Gathering drafts, but the cards are people, and the players are mostly stupidly rich people that own decks called “teams”, and the structured play culminates with regional competitions played in giant bowls.

I am not really sure what the bowls refer to. Um, M:TG players don’t seem really particular about the… shape, of their venues. On the other hand, M:TG players also don’t care about the brain health of their deck. Mana isn’t gonna tap itself!

Oh! Football stories!

I don’t do the sports, but fellow-non-sports-fans, I need to tell ya about something cool that happened.

Okay, so there are these twins, named Shaquill and Shaquem Griffin, and they are currently 22-years-old. Shaquem had a congenital birth defect that left em with one functioning hand. They both play football, Shaquem with a prosthetic hand.

Okay okay, so Shaquill was drafted to the Seattle Seahawks last year. And Shaquem was just drafted to the Seattle Seahawks!

Say whaaaaaaat?!

This is basically a wonderous story, happening right now. And there are many implications. First of all, knowing very little about sport outside of the sport video games, I now know there are Shaq-twins in the world! And they have real-life super-powers based on overcoming adversity and the support of siblingship!

Okay, okay okay, just needed you to know this was happening.

Also: it is kinda adorable how all the reports keep saying the twins are “reunited”. I am not used to reading sport stories regarding teammates this way, so to my ears it sounds like, “twins, lost to each other, with their only chance of being reunited: both being chosen to join the same band of dastardly oceanic fowl!”

Huh, maybe I should be a sport writer?!

Boland or bo-home.

John Poindexter is a fascinating person, but is mostly known for a little thing called the Iran-Contra affair.

One of my favorite samples from the Wikipedia article is (emphasis mine):

Poindexter and North communicated through a channel known as the “Private Blank Check” which Poindexter set up on a National Security Council (NSC) computer. Through this system, Poindexter and North were able to send messages back and forth without being intercepted by other NSC staff members. This system was not successful. Even though both Poindexter and North attempted to delete the messages, the White House Communications Agency was able to recover some of them, later used in trying Poindexter and North. On November 25, 1986, after the public disclosure of the Iran-Contra affair, Poindexter was forced to resign from his position as National Security Advisor.

This Poindexter is no Poindexter, of course! So despite literally getting caught while trying to send secret information, J to the Poindex was brought back to run DARPA’s completely innocent sounding Information Awareness Office

Okay, so why am I pointing out J. Q. Pokedex’s curriculum vitae?

Because all I know about Linda Poindexter is:

His wife, Linda Poindexter, was an Episcopal priest for 13 years, but retired from the clergy when she converted to Catholicism.

There is a story there that has all the trappings of deep commitment, searching for the correct course, and finding the resolve to face adversity while supporting a different aspect of an important institution. Backwards and in heels, all without violating the Boland Amendment.

I’ve been tracking this weird ticket about .md extensions in the Nextcloud Notes app for a while. Every so often it flares back up, and I feel the most recent cycle is far enough from the initial one, we get to start over.

I’ve seen this pattern a few times, but it never works out; the issues become stale and non-developer users bemoan no one to take up their cause, as most of these are open to patches. Sometimes I wish there was an org that focused on weird “bounties” like these, aiming people hours at slightly-higher-than-lowest-hanging-fruit.

Our new living room ceiling leak has developed into the entire living room ceiling being replaced, and the property management company is crediting us to stay in a hotel.

Total blah, but at least this might fix this issue once and for all, considering this is the 5th time in three years that water has leaked through our ceiling.

Living room ceiling leak

Hey, remember when I said things were going well? Still true! But now we have water leaking in our living room ceiling…

Time to get the property management folks on the line…

Things have been going really well

Things have been going so well, I am kinda terrified.

Hmmm, let me back up.

My life, the large part that makes up the formative part, it really sucked. I should probably be crying all the time, really working through that. But as any baseline human, I adapted so I’d be able to function in society or something. Listen, I don’t know why I wrap myself in isolation and suspicion, it made a lot of sense a decade ago.

No, actually further back. Because my introduction to adult society was through the lens of homelessness and being a high school dropout. I’ve done pretty well, all things considered.

But when a lot of nice things line up, I get scared. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fuck.

I wonder if this self-awareness is a hint that I am getting closer to not letting it rule my brain. When one is mentally jumping at shadows all day, details and opportunities are missed. That is the primary external disadvantage.

The part I’d like to reduce is actually just the overwhelming dread that heaves upon me like an oppressive wave of rogue gravity. Because if I could think, I might be able to think my way out of this…

Which is another way of saying, I should feel. I should get a therapist. Though talking about it here kinda felt better!

I’ve read that “journaling” helps anxiety and depression, but I’ve never kept a private diary, everything gets published. But I don’t always want to share these things, especially because I am afraid to be judged before I have a chance to prove myself. I want to be recognized as a complex person, holding it together. Instead I feel like I am calling a target to my vulnerabilities…

Things have been going really well. I am kinda terrified. ^_^

Clover and “normal ground”

Clover is wearing the garb of a particular ice magic practitioner, and standing up from whispering a secret to me, stepped on a long piece of cloth and fell flat.

I starting laughingly teasing, “Ah, wearing too much, huh? You slipped and fell!”

To which Clover promptly and somberly replied, “No, I slip on normal ground. I normally only walk on ice.” And then confidently walked away!

Wow, wish I were that clever and confident, and while cosplaying no less!

We have this weird red heat lamp bulb in our bathroom. For three years it never worked, and then we got a bulb replacement from property management. That was only a few months ago, during the time we couldn’t use our bedroom.

It burnt out a few days ago! So our property manager just gave us a replacement, and documenting the date here. ^_^

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